From the mastermind behind Capharnaum, Jason Suecof, comes
Crotchduster. Quite simply unlike anything you have ever heard.
"Have you ever had listening experiences that have caused you to
undergo such a magnificent spiritual revelation? Okay, so I have
those every five minutes, but this time, THIS TIME, it's sincere
and honest. Trust me! Would I mislead you? (Don't answer that, it's
rhetorical.) Anyways this is the spiritual enlightenment of a
lifetime! This is the metal band to end all metal wars and
crusades! This is THE band you need to hear. This . . . is . . .
THAT'S RIGHT! Crotchduster. To explain the history of this band
would take hours and ultimately perplex you so I'll take the
liberty of summing it up in two words: tax evasion. Don't worry if
it doesn't make sense to you now, just give it some time and it
will slowly seep into your puny little minds.
Not convinced just based on that information alone? Let's go to
the selling points. Are you one of those schmucks who hate
Suffoclones and every new melodic metalcore band that has no iota
of diversity in their music whatsoever? Well have no fear! Because
Crotchduster effectively pulls off the exhausting task of including
EVERY GENRE of music there is possible! You've got thrash, death
metal, power metal, glam! You've got vocoders! You've got Glen
Danzig impersonations! You've got Slayer covers! You have
improvisational jazz! All of this performed with such crafty
musicianship that you won't believe your very ears! Still not sold?
You've even got a special guest vocal appearance from RICHARD
CHRISTY!!! STILL not sold??? THEY HAVE A DOG AS A DRUMMER. You
don't get much more BR00TAL than that, man!
But why talk more about this than I have to? Just download the
MP3's from the website and get a taste of the supremacy that is
Crotchduster. This has already won my vote as album of the year. In
fact, this may very well win my vote as album of FOREVER! This is
the greatest metal album you will ever hear! Listen to Crotchduster
or DIE! Support Williamsburgland and buy plenty of Mammal Sauce!
Buy this album! Buy Buy Buy Buy Buy Buy Buy!!!
TEN MILLION FUCKING SKULLS. BAM!" - MetalJudgement.com